


come lay your weakness down

by beautiful1malec



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 18:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12753867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautiful1malec/pseuds/beautiful1malec
Summary: Out of everything Magnus has ever seen in his centuries of living, this was probably the most stupid, most idiotic, most dangerous, mostrecklessthat has ever been done. Of course, Jace had to run off in his time of distress, leaving chaos in his wake, everyone forced to pick up the pieces. Naturally, Alec, his brother, hisparabatai, had to do whatever he could to save him. Now he was left to suffer the consequences. Why? Why did Alec have to go and do something so incredibly noble, so incredible foolish? Why did he have to leave him?Magnus knew the depths of their bond was something he could never understand, but he never questioned it, coming to accept that Jace was intertwined in Alec’s life in ways he couldn’t imagine. Part of him was envious, for selfish reasons and he knew it, but he couldn’t help himself. He knew Jace had to save him, his presence the only possible solution to return Alec to them. Why couldn’t he be enough? He was the High Warlock of Brooklyn, he should have been able to do something,anything, to get his Alexander back. But it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t enough.OrMagnus almost lost himself while Alec was in a coma.





	come lay your weakness down

**Author's Note:**

> Throwing it all the way back to early season two, but I wanted to express angsty Magnus, and this plot of episode 3 was one of the most angsty, and I just had to take in under my wing and give it a go. I decided to take on the Magnus centric scenes of the episode, which is why some are longer than others, plus there's an added bonus from episode 4 so there is a happy ending!
> 
> Magnus is very bitter for the most part, and also very protective, hence the "his Alexander".
> 
> Also, I tried finding gifs, but it was harder than I thought it would be since so many of them are edited over or from different scenes. :(

When Isabelle requested his presence, Magnus had no idea what to expect. Isabelle warned him, telling him Alec's attempt to trace Jace went wrong, but he wasn't expecting it to be  _so bad_. Alec was unresponsive, the only signs of his body still functioning was the rising of his chest, albeit shallow, and the sweat beading across his forehead. He was alive, but Magnus would barely consider it that. As soon as he arrived, he got to work, throwing himself headfirst into preventing the condition from worsening, unable to even  _think_ of letting anything happen to Alexander. Already so captured in his efforts, he had no idea how long he'd been at it, it could have been minutes, hours, even days, before he heard Isabelle's soft "It's not working,", leaving him forced to utter an apology, despite doing the best he could. 

“Parabatai bonds are like a tether that binds two souls." While he respected their connection, Magnus always felt a little blindsided when he was reminded of it. It wasn't romantic in any way, but it was far more intimate than he would have been comfortable with if he didn't know. "Jace and Alec share emotions, instincts, strength. It's an angelic bond. My magic can only do so much.”  _My magic can only do so much_. He hated that he was uttering those words, that despite his power, it couldn't be the fix everyone was looking for. It confirmed what he already feared, that no matter what he would do, it couldn't bring Alec back.

While explaining to Isabelle, her genuine curiosity of whether Jace would be in the same condition, he couldn't help but feel spiteful. He knew Jace didn't make Alec do this, make him jump into something so risky, but Jace wasn't the one suffering. Jace was most likely fine, probably unaware of the condition Alec was in, and he couldn't stand it. As he expressed Jace's condition, Isabelle grew hopeful, rightfully so, that bringing Jace back would be the answer. Begrudgingly, Magnus expressed his agreement, because despite his pride, he knew he would do anything for Alexander. Even if it meant admitting he didn't have all the answers.

* * *

“Oh, great. Clary's safe. We can all go home now." He honestly couldn't believe this, how it was expected that everything would drop just because Clary returned. He had nothing against Clary, he cared for her dearly, she was his biscuit after all, but the world didn't revolve around her. He knew it sounded unreasonable, but his concern for Alec was clouding his better judgement. He listened to Jocelyn give another argument, one he didn't particularly care for, immediately cutting her off once he'd had enough.

"You were only trying to do what you always do. Manipulate people into helping fix problems that you created. And now Alec is paying the price for it.” He knew it was harsh, could see it on her face, but he couldn't bring himself to be any kinder. Time he spent here was time he wasn't helping Alec, which was a waste more than anything. He didn't bother to listen much longer, simply telling her to prove him wrong as he walked away, sending magic to slam the door in her face.

* * *

Alec's jostling caught Magnus's attention, immediately halting his shuffling to get close, wishing his presence alone would be enough. “It's okay, Alec. You hear me? We're gonna get you out of here and bring you back.” He was aware of another presence in the room with him and Isabelle, Aldertree determined to be the most important person in the room while Raj trailed behind, but Magnus wasn't focused on them, completely devoted to Alec's care. He could tell it was an argument, Isabelle clearly putting up a heavy fight about the portal request, but Aldertree wasn't having any of it. Magnus would have ignored them more, but almost lost it once he heard, "Alec isn't leaving this Institute. I'm sure his warlock friend can figure something out. Here."  _Friend?_ He knew Aldertree was speaking this way to strike a nerve, but unfortunately for Magnus, it worked.

“This isn't waking Sleeping Beauty with a kiss. Runic power is deep. It requires magic that can't be accessed in the walls of this institute.” He was infuriated, how dare Aldertree try challenging him? He knew  _nothing_ , yet he was acting as if he had all of the answers. If the answer was easily accessible, wouldn't they have found it by now? Surely Aldertree wasn't as stupid as he looked? He got caught up in his thoughts, vaguely catching Isabelle's accusations of wanting Alec for bait, and Magnus only felt more anger run through him. Did this not matter to him? How could he be so dense and let Alec,  _his_ Alexander, slip away from them without a care in the world?

"I have allowed this warlock into the Institute for the sole purpose of treating your brother. Although, you don't seem to be doing too good a job of it."   _You don't seem to be doing too good a job of it_. As if Magnus didn't already know that, having Aldertree shove it in his face made it much more real. If he was alone, he might have done something he would regret, but Isabelle was right there with him, a steady hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back towards Alec's direction.  _Focus on him_ , her actions were saying, while she was clearly expressing her disinterest in Aldertree's presence as she all but forced him from the room, Raj still at the door. He's sure there was an offhanded comment, but he couldn't care less. Focus shifting again, he threw himself back to work, new determination to prove Aldertree wrong. He wasn't about to give up. He  _couldn't_.  _Come on Alexander, stay with me. Please._

* * *

Alec was murmuring again, trapped in what Magnus could only hope was a good memory. It was already a terrible situation, trapped in his own mind with no way to free himself, and Magnus was trying his best to believe that they were good memories, something to give him any kind of ease while Magnus tried his best to help.

“Alec?” Once again, he was left without a response, a hollow ache in his chest making a home. Rage overcame him, everything he was doing _wasn't enough_. Another sweep of magic, more destructive than anything, picking up whatever was caught in its path and leaving a mess in its wake. 

“You know you're gonna have to clean that up? I feel you, man, but I have direct orders. If you can't help him, then you need to go.” _Stupid Raj_ , Magnus thought bitterly.  He wasn't doing any good, doing nothing but preventing him from helping Alexander.  _Go?_ Clearly he was delusional. How dare he presume Magnus would just up and leave Alexander in his time of need? 

“My magic is the only thing keeping Alec from completely slipping away.” He was adamant, staring Raj down to assert his power. If there one thing he could do without fault, it would be remaining by Alexander’s side. “I won't leave.” 

“I know you're old, but I didn't realize you were hard of hearing. He's clearly not waking up any time soon, so you can leave now, or I can remove you myself-” So full of annoyance, Magnus couldn’t bother with him anymore. Emotions getting the better of him, a quick flick of his fingers sent magic, a violent burst of red, towards Raj, encircling his neck and leaving him gasping for breath.  

“I'm sorry,” A bitter apology on his end, more half-assed than anything. He knew that, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not when Raj was getting in the way of him helping Alec. “I don't like being rushed.” Another motion, a surge of magic, rushing forward at Raj, knocking him back against the wall. About to move forward again, to finish what he started, Isabelle burst in, hands on his shoulders and holding him back. Holding him back from potentially killing Raj. 

“Magnus, stop! We need to get Alec out of here, but this isn't helping.” She could see his frustration, his anguish, understanding _exactly_ where he was coming from but knowing this was not the best for Alec. Thankful for whatever power brought him Isabelle, because in that moment, she was the only thing keeping him from completely losing his mind. At least the part that hadn't already been lost.

* * *

Once again, Magnus was thanking Isabelle more than he’d ever thanked anything in his entire life. Allowing them the window to sneak away, Alec was back in the loft, under his direct care, but even then, it wasn’t enough. “Come back. Come back. Please come back.” _Don’t leave me_. He never felt such pain, knowing there was nothing more he could do to fix this. “I'm all out of answers. I've tried everything. Except,” This wasn’t Sleeping Beauty, he knew this, but desperation drove him to this point as he kissed Alec, heart breaking as he was limp beneath him. It was foolish, he knew, hoping that would be the catalyst to spark him back to life.

Out of everything Magnus has ever seen in his centuries of living, this was probably the most stupid, most idiotic, most dangerous, most _reckless_ that has ever been done. Of course, Jace had to run off in his time of distress, leaving chaos in his wake, everyone forced to pick up the pieces. Naturally, Alec, his brother, his _parabatai_ , had to do whatever he could to save him. Now he was left to suffer the consequences. Why? Why did Alec have to go and do something so incredibly noble, so incredible foolish? Why did he have to leave him?

Magnus knew the depths of their bond was something he could never understand, but he never questioned it, coming to accept that Jace was intertwined in Alec’s life in ways he couldn’t imagine. Part of him was envious, for selfish reasons and he knew it, but he couldn’t help himself. He knew Jace had to save him, his presence the only possible solution to return Alec to them. Why couldn’t he be enough? He was the High Warlock of Brooklyn, he should have been able to do something, _anything_ , to get his Alexander back. But it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t enough.

* * *

He’d never felt so powerless, as he, _The High Warlock of Brooklyn,_ handed over the adamas stone to Jace, a Shadowhunter, but not just _any_ Shadowhunter, _his_ Alexander’s parabatai, the only one left who could possibly do anything to help. Magnus already did what he could, trying _so_ hard to keep Alec from fading away, giving control to Jace as he waltzed over to Alec as if only his presence would be enough. He watched the stone light up, so responsive to the presence of parabatai while Jace clutched it, keeping Alec’s hand in his as he recited their oath.

He could only watch, a helpless bystander, absolute horror overcoming him as he watched Alec jolt, the adamas dropping from their grasp while the realization Alec was _slipping._ They would lose him, _he_ would lose him, after everything they’d done to get him back. He was barely aware of anyone else’s responses to his declaration, eyes locked on Jace and Alec, losing all hope as the adamas died out and Alec went lifeless, Jace’s hold the only thing supporting him. He couldn't help but fear the worst, they'd take him away for the rite of mourning, celebrate his life and honor his death somewhere Magnus wasn't welcome. Alec would be gone, somewhere Magnus couldn't follow. 

Registering the tears in his eyes, he could feel it, the bitterness and anger already rushing for their rightful places in his heart, when he heard him, Alec _spoke_ , wakeful and aware as he concluded their oath. Reflexively, his hand reached out, vaguely aware of fingers- Clary’s?-interlacing with his. Relief overcame him, giving the parabatai time to reconnect before attempting to reach them, but before he could, Aldertree, ignorant and brash as ever, stalked into his loft,  _his domain_ , Shadowhunters in tow and placing Jace under arrest.

“Wait, what, what the hell is going on?” How could Alec be so caring, so concerned, just having been awoken from a _coma_ but more concerned over Jace’s wellbeing than his own? This was what got him into this trouble in the first place. But still, so weak, tying to sit himself up to protest what he saw was an atrocity. 

“It's all right, Alec. All that matters is you're back.” As awful as this situation was, Magnus was thankful for Jace’s rational in that moment. He didn’t want to see him in trouble, but this was not something Alec should have to worry about just yet, needing to recover his strength before jumping into more trouble.

He watched for a moment as Isabelle approached her brother, forcing him back to rest, voice soft as she reassured him everything would be okay. There was the forced insistence of getting rest, implied Alec should stay put, and Magnus wasn't sure if it would be more beneficial for Alec or him. He locked eyes with Isabelle as she walked past, a promise of, "I'll be back in the morning" uttered as she made her way out the door after Aldertree, Clary following. With a quick wave of his hand, already drained but unwilling to move further from Alec than he needed to, the door swung shut as he approached Alec, falling to his knees before him, eyes watching him carefully. 

"Magnus?" Alec asked, voice  _soso_ soft and full of exhaustion and concern fighting for dominance.

"It's alright darling," Magnus assured, already feeling relief take over now that Alec was awake. "Let's get some rest." They could discuss in the morning, once Alec was feeling better. For now, Magnus was content with Alec just being there.  _Fully_ being there.

* * *

"How'd it go with Aldertree?" Leave it to Alec to be more concerned with others than himself, despite going through a tremendous ordeal. It never failed to surprise Magnus.

"Well, the man didn't disappoint. In his own charming, inimitable way, he informed me that I will indeed be punished, but the form of punishment is yet to be decided." Magnus didn't care what punishment Aldertree could throw at him, the petulant Shadowhunter didn't scare him. He almost seemed to think that Magnus was concerned with his decision, when in reality he would do it all again if needed. It was worth the energy expenditure and the worry. Alexander was alive, and that was what mattered.

"All for trying to save my life." Magnus could hear it, the sense of guilt lined in his words, and he just wanted to take it away. Before he could say anything else, Alec continued, phrasing his words carefully. "Jace may have been the one who pulled me out, but I did feel you there, and it did make a difference. So, thank you." 

Magnus felt his heart swell, grateful that even if he wasn't the one to bring him back, he was at least able to help. "Thank you for not dying on me." He smiled as Alec chuckled at his humor, something clearly needed after everything. "How is Jace? " He was concerned for the other, mostly because he meant so much to Alec. But also because he had more reason to be thankful for him.

"He won't be gone long." Alec sounded so confident, something Magnus never doubted. Jace was a fighter, he would be alright. "Once his hand touches the Soul-Sword, the truth will come out, and prove that he's never been on Valentine's side." Alec paused for another moment, leaving Magnus wondering what he was thinking. "Look, um, I know that with everything that's been going on, I-" He fumbled with his words a bit, Magnus smiling softly. "We, we haven't had a chance to-"

"Go on that first date we never had?" Magnus ventured a guess, smiling more as he saw the relief overtake Alec's face at not having to finish his thought. 

"Right, yes." The idea was exciting, being able to spend time with Magnus in a different capacity was something new for them, but something they both wanted.

"I know a place in SoHo that has the best lamb kebab this side of Marrakesh." He thought for a moment, a bolder idea in his mind. "Or we can Portal to Marrakesh. You hungry?" 

"Starving." He was so eager, so ready to leave the Institute behind and just be with Magnus. He was almost about to leave, but of course, they had to be interrupted yet again. 

"Hey, Alec. Demon briefing in the ops center. All hands on deck." Raj almost seemed apologetic, especially considering he caught sight of Magnus, much more wary around the Warlock.

"My dear Raj. You look well." He couldn't help but poke a little fun, taking in the response he received. Slight annoyance, the pondering of giving a response before he relented, walking off again. One of these days Magnus would give him a proper apology. Today was not that day. "Rain check?" Magnus offered, giving Alec the easy out he needed. 

"Yes, yeah." It truly was alright, they'd waited this long for their date, surely they could wait a little longer. "Is that okay?" Bless Alec and his kind heart, always wanting to be so sure Magnus was okay. He was more apologetic than he needed to be, Magnus decided, determined to nip that away.

"You go battle your demons." With the soft insistence, Alec seemed to relax, easily dipping away to make it to the meeting, leaving Magnus alone again. "I'll go battle mine."


End file.
